Impacts of an In-effective Mindset
There are a number of significant symptoms or experiences which signify the need for someone to take personal responsibility, stop blaming others (being defensive) and knowing how to truly show remorse, make an apology and give the other person confidence they are going to make a change in their motives (thinking styles) and behaviour.
We have seen time and time again the negative impacts of the mind-set / thinking styles and the self-defeating consequences people impose on other and themselves. There are many common patterns and associated behaviours caused by external stimulus (by others, society etc.) however the depth and duration of your personal emotional responses can cause negative impacts and personal crisis.
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Sample LSI Mindset Assessment Connections to Big Mistakes
Aggressive Behavioural Impacts
John is on the road a lot for work, overtime he becomes more disconnect from his partner. He’s feeling lonely one night and has an affair. John’s mindset (attitudes, values and beliefs) is rooted in the competitively aggressive / defensive style creating self-focussed, arrogant and win / lose situations all the time.
He has been accused of sexual assault in the past and it was only a matter of time before he couldn’t control his motives or behaviour causing deep hurt to his partner. On the night of the affair, he thought he’s won, but he really lost. The complications of John behaviour will be felt for year and year to come. Too bad he didn't get help earlier. Quite the Big Mistake.
Passive Behavioural Impacts
Julie has promised her aging aunt Lucy time and time again she would take her on a trip to visit her older sister in Western Canada. Lucy is very nervous flying, has a few disabilities and needs support travelling. Julie knows she's made the promise but simply does not want to deal with her aunt this year. Instead of talking things through with Lucy in an open manner, Julie headed out West for a trip with another family member to visit her relatives leaving her aunt behind. When Lucy found out she was really angry and disappointed. Julie's intent seems very consciously motivated causing distrust and deep hurt in their relationship. Julie’s mindset (attitudes, values and beliefs) are rooted in the passive / defensive avoidance style. Quite the Big Mistake.
Passive / Aggressive Behavioural Impacts
Gary and his wife Sharron have excluded their step-grandchildren from their lives time and time again causing pain and hurt in the relationships with their kids, grandkids and the step-grandkids themselves. It's been going on for year and everyone in the family knows it, they feel the effects and everyone lives with the impacts of the their exclusive behaviour that Gary and Sharron are doing. Other family members have addressed the situation and it's like talking to a brick wall.
Their mindset (attitudes, values and beliefs) are rooted in conventional style (passive / defensive) and power style (aggressive / defensive) leaving them disconnected from the family they love, feeling confused and alone more often than they would like. Quite the Big Mistake.
Non-Constructive Behavioural Impacts
Roger has been working on controlling his temper with his son for years. He’s reached out for support but for some reason he still can’t control his anger. One night when his son didn’t return the car on time (so Roger could get to a schedule board meeting) he snapped. He punched his son in the face, exited the house and pulled the car out of the drive way killing the family dog. Two big consequences he simply can't take back. Rogers initial response was to blame his son. Everyone knew the difference, even Roger and it took him a few minutes to really settle into the realities of what he had just done.
Rogers mindset (attitudes, values and beliefs) is rooted in the perfectionistic and power-based aggressive / defensive styles. He new it was his fault however he struggled with being vulnerable, showing remorse and providing an effective apology. Quite the Big Mistake.