Nadir Experiences can take form in many shapes, sizes and ultimately commonly known difficult elements of life. Whilst the bulk of our work is aimed at helping people cope with grief, bereavement, and crisis situations leading to heightened stress and anxiety, there are a number of other services we offer that fall under a different umbrella, which we have titled "Struggles."
We have categorized some of these struggles below, and though they are very specific life happenings that can effect a vast number of people, we believe that the coaching services we offer - combined with our extensive knowledge of the human mindset - can be beneficial to anyone who is struggling with the state their life is either in, or heading.
Mid-life Passage Coaching
“Midway in life’s journey, I found myself in a dark wood having lost the way.” - Dante''s Inferno
Why do so many go through so much disruption in their middle years? Why then? Why do we consider it to be a crisis? What is the meaning of such an experience?
The midlife crisis, which I prefer to call the Middle Passage, presents us with an opportunity to examine our lives, thinking styles (underlying attitudes, values and beliefs) and to ask the sometimes frightening, always liberating, question, “Who am I, apart from my history and the roles I have played?” When we discover that we’ve been living what constitutes a false self, that we’ve been enacting a provisional adulthood, driven by unrealistic expectations, then we open the possibility for the second adulthood, our true authentic personhood.
The Middle Passage is an occasion for redefining and reorienting the personality, a rite of passage between the extended adolescence of the first adulthood and our inevitable appointment with old age and mortality. Those who travel the passage consciously render their lives more meaningful and are more successful in most if not all areas of their lives. Those who do not, remain prisoners of childhood, however successful they may appear in outer life. The thinking styles, belief systems and their associated behavioural responses allowed one to cope with stressful external stimuli of childhood, however these styles do not allow for satisfying and effective social interactions in adulthood, therefore we are often ask ourselves to passage so not to continue on-going self defeating consequences of ineffective thinking.
My consultative practice over the last twenty five years has been predominantly composed of people in the Middle Passage, and I’ve seen the pattern again and again. The Middle Passage represents a wonderful, though often painful, opportunity to revision our sense of self.
A mid-life crisis can be defined as:
an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early middle age.
A midlife crisis is a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically 45–64 years old. The phenomenon is described as a psychological crisis brought about by events that highlight a person's growing age, inevitable mortality, and possibly shortcomings of accomplishments in life. This may produce feelings of depression, remorse, and anxiety, or the desire to achieve youthfulness or make drastic changes to current lifestyle.
For more in-depth reading on the middle passage, please click here:
If you are ready to strengthen your approach, to move from the unconsciousness to the conscious or to reduce the negative stress / crisis in your life, we would be pleased to provide mid-life coaching support:
to provide mindset insights, make key connections to your midlife 'crisis' and identify key step you can take to passage more successfully.
to increase your understanding of your own behaviour, thinking patterns and self-concept;
to review a quantified method for looking at your strengths as well as self-defeating behaviours in the hope that one will improve on what is good, and work to changing what could be better;
to increase your awareness of how your mindset (non-constructive or ineffective thinking styles) and their associated behaviour impacts yourself and others;
to explore how your mindset / style impacts your mid-life passage, your ability to cope with stress, your relationships, meet your goals and your overall effectiveness;
to help you diminish your security based behaviour and increase your satisfaction based behaviour;
to strengthen your ability to trust, support and communicate more effectively with others;
to determine how to adjust your behaviour to improve the quality of your task, process and relationship effectiveness;
to heighten your self awareness to determine where you need to direct your self-improvement efforts with supportive and concrete action plans.
Many view mid-life as a negative, but in reality many experience this time positively. If looked at as a time of personal growth, the experience can be greatly beneficial and rewarding. If treated as a transitional phase, psychologists believe the initial experience may be difficult and confusing but as time passes it becomes an experience of self growth and self-realization.
We are offering our Addictions coaching support because we believe in self-actualizing (growth through nadir experiences)
am and because we feel most people can work towards resolution with the right support.
In life, you will make mistakes. Sometimes really big mistakes. Even with the best intentions sometimes you’ll even make the same mistake more than once, hurting and negatively impacting yourself and others around you.
Your trust with others, the strengthen of your relationships or personal credibility can be on the line.
If your mistake was motivational (intended to hurt) or a triggered reaction from an unconscious passive or aggressive behaviour (unintended but still hurtful) – the end result is the same, your behaviour has impacted another and in the end, yourself. The story is often the same: you had a strong emotional reaction, sudden onset, and "when you reflect later, you realize it was inappropriate".
Human beings judge people more based on their “behaviour” than their “I intent.” It is often the motivation or intent that causes the greatest harm or impact… and we all know how we feel after one of these mistakes. Our ineffective motivations are complex, arising from a huge magnitude of places and can always be found in the unconscious mindset. We have seen time and time again many unintended unconscious behavioural impacts that come from a persons reaction to an external stimuli.
An unworked on ineffective mindset / thinking styles will always unconsciously trigger motivations and behaviours – leading to a mistake or unintended impact. And if you’re human, which I’m assuming you are, one of two things will happen. Either you’ll adopt a victim mentality and convince yourself it was all someone else’s fault (not taking personal responsibility), or you will see it as your own fault and be wracked with guilt and shame. Individuals that do not advance their management of their ineffective mindsets will continue on-going self-defeating behaviours. We can help this stop.
We have a revolutionary five-stage process to heal relationships, let go of anger and blame, find peace while ensuring forgiveness for self and with others. We then work to deepen yourself awareness of the strengths and weaknesses within your mindset to move forward with a more conscious-use-of-self. This in-depth coaching approach will help safeguard your credibility through stronger self-regulation techniques and the management of your ineffective thinking styles.
You will hurt people in lots of little ways. There is simply no way to side-step this, unless you spend your whole life living alone in a cave. Our concern are the “big hurts” and you will continue to hurt yourself, people close to you, and people not so close… but the closer they are, the more likely you are to hurt them if you can’t get a handle on your ineffective thinking styles.
To book a consultation meeting please contact: