Sample Success Stories
A midlife crisis is not something a person get over, it's something people go through (we call this a passage) and because it is a crisis of identity, fear and avoidance, it is a process that takes time, insight and deliberate personal growth and development work. Learning from the nadir experiences are often one of the key driving forces that will support you in moving through your mid-life crisis.
Success come from true authentic "passages"away from ineffective thinking styles and making concrete changes in your life that are sustainable. Here are a few examples of success stories from clients we have worked with.
Susan Reeves "The Conventional Thinker..."
Crisis Starting Point: 32 years old. Since the age of 16 Susan has spent every Friday and Saturday night in the company of her mother. Being single, Susan was growing more and more anxious about not having week-end date nights, having the opportunity to meet a life partner and to have children of her own. Being too respectful to her mothers wishes, having unquestioned obedience, consistently going passive / defensive about her needs and completely losing her personal initiative to make a change left Susan in a crisis. She knew she needed to make a change or she would regret this mistake for life.
Invitation to Passage: Susan needed to feel more empowered to take back (not ask) her life and to free up one of the two of her week-end evenings.
Positive Outcomes: Susan's mother was on side right away and felt awful as she had no idea of the impact her actions and beliefs were having on her daughter. Susan felt more self aware and empowered to decrease her conventional thinking styles.
Steve Johnson "The Competitor"
Crisis Starting Point: 44 Years old. Always needed to win. Independent decision making to serve himself was the manner in which Steve operated. He made decisions daily that impacted the trust of his wife, children and those around him a work and in the community. In short it was 'all about Steve' and people were really tiring of his arrogance.
Invitation to Passage: Steve's wife gently provided feedback about impacts of his win / lose behaviour was having on her trust, their relationship and their ability to connect. She helped him see how a change to a win/win approach would benefit him and strengthen their bond.
Positive Outcomes: It took some time, a number of bumps and a lot of apologies of remorse - but Steve got it. He learned to adapt his behaviours and his attitude towards others which significantly deepened his connection, intimacy and trust in all of his key relationships.
Pat "Stu" MacDonald "The Perfectionistic"
Crisis Starting Point: 56 years old. His name was Pat, but his father always called him "Stu" (Stu stood for stupid). Pat chased senior position after senior position trying to secure the recognition and love of his father. Two years after his fathers death at an office party, new a colleague to Pat asked why everyone called him "Stu" when his name was Pat. After sharing, Pat understood this had to be the last time he shared his 'story.'
Invitation to Passage: It was time Pat changed not only his name but the work he was doing. His work never really fit with his true self as he was only trying to pleased his dad.
Positive Outcomes: Three months later Pat secure a job as an executive director for a not-for-profit helping people in poverty. His sense of well-being, energy and personal direction / core values felt incredible aligned for the first time in his life.